Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
