Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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