Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
