Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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