grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
