whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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