you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
