So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
