You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I fill condoms, not promises.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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