i need an iv and a liver transplant
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
