making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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