she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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