is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
