I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
