it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
