**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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