thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize