am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
