I can tuck mytits in my pants
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
