So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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