Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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