i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
