I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
