This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
