I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
