Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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