I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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