i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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