he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All I want is dick and wine.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
