There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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