I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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