So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
