I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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