I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
