he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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