If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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