addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
