This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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