Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
