Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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