I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
