from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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