How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Then you guys just all showered together...?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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