I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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