Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
