I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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