Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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