i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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