Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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