At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize