one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
