i just made my gag reflex go away.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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