belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
