cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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