Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
MIDGETS
????
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
