Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize