where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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