I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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