her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
