I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
