sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
