WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.