Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
