ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
