i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
