Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
