OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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