haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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