we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
